But--you told me that it was a problem for you that I was so helpless against Ankh and, and that I was strange for not hating Ankh and...
[he swallows hard, his whole body clenched taut--it hurts so much more now that he can feel properly again] ...and for loving you. You called me 'detective' again.
We all saw terrible things. Ankh saw us demeaning his humanity and hating him. I saw you and him calling me useless and telling me to never return and throw away my self-centered desires.
I'm sorry you had to see those things, but and I would never say those things to you. They aren't true. I wouldn't go back to calling you something that rude again.
Ankh loves you. Hina loves you. I'm here trying to help you through a process I would never wish on anyone else. Id we hated you or thought these terrible things about you, we wouldn't care like this.
I don't mind your feelings. I'm extremely flattered you have such strong feelings for me even after watching and hearing all of the terrible things I've done. Most would and have abandoned me over it, but you wont.
[puts a hand to his chest, his face clearing a little, draining of expression as he remembers how it feels when the sun goes down]
...it's getting worse. A lot worse. And it's so much when it all comes back--like trying to put weight on a limb that's gone to sleep. [he bites back the rest of what he was going to say, swallowing] ...you?
About the same. After what camp did, it got worse. The ice has started, but I can't control when it happens yet. It was hard to fight that situation to begin with. It told me to throw away the only thing fighting it and I could just feel it worsen faster, as if my body is slowly icing over.
Oh. [breathes out, his eyes suddenly focused as he takes a step towards you, then another, until finally he's very close and he reaches up to touch soft fingertips to your cheek. his skin is blazing hot against yours]
I'm finally warm enough again. [his voice very soft]
[he just closes his eyes for a moment then steps forward, his cheek sliding against yours before he presses against you, feeling how cold you are and wrapping a long arm around your waist]
...I'm frightened. [his voice very quiet against your neck, almost inaudible]
We were handcuffed to each other and my ice happened on it's own because I was upset. I told him after that because he was confused and upset that I didn't tell him it was happening.
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But--you told me that it was a problem for you that I was so helpless against Ankh and, and that I was strange for not hating Ankh and...
[he swallows hard, his whole body clenched taut--it hurts so much more now that he can feel properly again] ...and for loving you. You called me 'detective' again.
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We all saw terrible things. Ankh saw us demeaning his humanity and hating him. I saw you and him calling me useless and telling me to never return and throw away my self-centered desires.
I'm sorry you had to see those things, but and I would never say those things to you. They aren't true. I wouldn't go back to calling you something that rude again.
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I don't mind your feelings. I'm extremely flattered you have such strong feelings for me even after watching and hearing all of the terrible things I've done. Most would and have abandoned me over it, but you wont.
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Eiji-kun...
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...thank you.
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...it's getting worse. A lot worse. And it's so much when it all comes back--like trying to put weight on a limb that's gone to sleep. [he bites back the rest of what he was going to say, swallowing] ...you?
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I'm finally warm enough again. [his voice very soft]
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Thanks. [a pause, and then speaks softer] I hate this process.
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...I'm frightened. [his voice very quiet against your neck, almost inaudible]
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I am too.
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Ankh is worried about you.
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...really? [he knows he sounds pathetic, but he's tired and scared enough that he doesn't care]
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You told him what's happening to me.
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