boggart aftermath

[cooopout]

[he's just sort of walking aimlessly out by the forest, his clothes unkempt and a completely lost look on his face]

Comments

[cooopout]

[just stares at you, uncomprehending]

But--you told me that it was a problem for you that I was so helpless against Ankh and, and that I was strange for not hating Ankh and...

[he swallows hard, his whole body clenched taut--it hurts so much more now that he can feel properly again] ...and for loving you. You called me 'detective' again.

[regretnooothing]

[taking slow steps forward.]

We all saw terrible things. Ankh saw us demeaning his humanity and hating him. I saw you and him calling me useless and telling me to never return and throw away my self-centered desires.

I'm sorry you had to see those things, but and I would never say those things to you. They aren't true. I wouldn't go back to calling you something that rude again.

[cooopout]

But it was true. [his voice shaking badly] All the things you and Hina and Ankh said to me were true.

[regretnooothing]

They aren't true.

[cooopout]

[just presses his face into his hands, swallowing and trying to reconcile what you're saying with the sick, wrecked feeling in his chest]

[regretnooothing]

Ankh loves you. Hina loves you. I'm here trying to help you through a process I would never wish on anyone else. Id we hated you or thought these terrible things about you, we wouldn't care like this.

I don't mind your feelings. I'm extremely flattered you have such strong feelings for me even after watching and hearing all of the terrible things I've done. Most would and have abandoned me over it, but you wont.

[cooopout]

[draws his hands away from his face slowly, and now his cheeks are hot, pressing the backs of his fingers against them as he tries to stop the flush]

Eiji-kun...

[regretnooothing]

Ankh isn't going to let go of your hand that easily. If he's holding on, then I'm not letting you go either.

[cooopout]

...you really didn't mean those things? [he's still trying to wrap his head around it]

[regretnooothing]

Camp is the one who told you those things, not us. I do mean what I just said though.

[cooopout]

[nods a little, looking shaky]

...thank you.

[regretnooothing]

How are you feeling?

[cooopout]

[puts a hand to his chest, his face clearing a little, draining of expression as he remembers how it feels when the sun goes down]

...it's getting worse. A lot worse. And it's so much when it all comes back--like trying to put weight on a limb that's gone to sleep. [he bites back the rest of what he was going to say, swallowing] ...you?

[regretnooothing]

About the same. After what camp did, it got worse. The ice has started, but I can't control when it happens yet. It was hard to fight that situation to begin with. It told me to throw away the only thing fighting it and I could just feel it worsen faster, as if my body is slowly icing over.

[cooopout]

Oh. [breathes out, his eyes suddenly focused as he takes a step towards you, then another, until finally he's very close and he reaches up to touch soft fingertips to your cheek. his skin is blazing hot against yours]

I'm finally warm enough again. [his voice very soft]

[regretnooothing]

[His skin feels cold to the touch with just traces of warmth. Reaches up and places his hands over yours]

Thanks. [a pause, and then speaks softer] I hate this process.

[cooopout]

[he just closes his eyes for a moment then steps forward, his cheek sliding against yours before he presses against you, feeling how cold you are and wrapping a long arm around your waist]

...I'm frightened. [his voice very quiet against your neck, almost inaudible]

[regretnooothing]

[moving his arm around your shoulder then, keeping the other on your hand. He closes his eyes, trying to warm up with your warmth]

I am too.

[cooopout]

[just nods against your shoulder and presses his face to the bare skin of your throat, feeling the coolness against his cheek and holding you tighter]

[regretnooothing]

[stands there with you, enjoying the warmth on his cold skin]

Ankh is worried about you.

[cooopout]

[swallows a little--it's still sinking in that everything he thought you all said wasn't actually you guys]

...really? [he knows he sounds pathetic, but he's tired and scared enough that he doesn't care]

[regretnooothing]

[nods against you a little] He's worried about both of us, but you the most.

[cooopout]

[and that clicks]

You told him what's happening to me.

[regretnooothing]

We were handcuffed to each other and my ice happened on it's own because I was upset. I told him after that because he was confused and upset that I didn't tell him it was happening.

[cooopout]

It's all right. I'm not angry you told him--he had to know soon anyway.